I walked up to the fence to see him.
he lay there in his wooden home.
Today he didn’t look so bad.
I tossed him a small stick.
‘Click…’ his ears perked up.
There’s that mean look.
And there goes
My pants.
Mutt.
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7 comments:
max uses tremendous creativity to complete his minute poem and do it by following the guidlines
he uses a common topic but makes it work by adding a suprising ending
A decent first poem, but a little refinement was needed. "‘Click…’ his ears perked up," wasn't really needed, and this line could have been an oppurtunity to describe how the dog attacked instead of "And there goes my pants," with no warning. It was pretty funny once I figured out what you meant. It was not bad; pretty good Max.
After reading this poem Max, I feel humored. It makes me envision some person just experiencing an "Aw crap"
moment. Like this person who casually tosses as stick winds up waking a dog who tears his pants off. There was nothing he could do to control it, and its just plain funny.
One effective piece of this poem is that it flows smoothly. It takes the reader through the images and doesn't leave any rough ends. for instance, you're not left questioning anything. This poem gives it to you straight, and flows with it. I like that about this poem, you don't need to think a lot about it. It might not be too deep, but the simplicity is nice.
It also makes the humor effective.
You can't get a real sense of funny when something is very profound.
All I see in this poem is exactly what it says. Like I mentioned before the poem gives it to you straight.
Max, I enjoyed reading your nonet because it’s just classic. When I read it, I had an imagery in my head of the dog and the boy running away. I like your word choice and your poem made me laugh. I can’t compare this poem to anything I read, but I really liked your poem!
Nice poem...Very creative and was a very well written nonet. The last part about pulling off pants was a tad wierd but we can get past that...
This is a very well-written poem. Max used a lot of creativity in the poem. it was also a bit humorous when the dog rips of his pants. It reminds me of the scene from "The Sandlot" when Benny grabs the baseball and hops the fence while being attacked by the dog.
AHAH.
you lost your pants!
i like this max.
its funny.
im sure it took a ton of effort.
=)
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