Sunday, September 7, 2008

Time to be free by Juliette C

David Pelzer was a young boy who didn’t deserve living such a hard life. With an abusive mother and a never home father, David never had a childhood like normal kids. On days when his father never came home, Dave’s mother would turn to alcohal and beat him until walking was a huge task for him. Most days he wouldn’t get meals to eat and instead he would be left to eat the scraps off plates or none at all. During dinner, he was told to sit on te back steps until the family was done.

During an evening of being outisde, David noticed his neighbor bringing his trash to his barrels. Almost the whole neighborhood knew about David’s beatings but no one ever reported it. Hoawever, his neighbor, Joseph, kept a close eye on him since he was little.

Since before his mother beat him, David and his brothers used to go over Joseph’s house to hear stories about the war and what it was like for him being in Polond during the Holocaust. Joseph was always an interesting old man, but David knew there was something hiding about him in his personality. He was a single man but from what the boys knew, there was once a woman in his life but joseph never went in depth about her.

As David secretly waved to him, Joseph motioned for David to go over to him to talk.
“Should I go over to him?” David thought, “It’d be a risky move and I couldn’t go in and ask mother if it was okay.”

He noticed that his family was only about halfway through their meal from what he saw through the window. David decided to not go over to him since he knew if he got caught he’d get a severe beating for leaving without permission. David shook his head “no” to Joseph who was waiting at the fence. The old man just shrugged his shoulders and walked back inside.

The next day as David was on his usual step outisde, Joseph was there again. This time, he walked up to the fence separating yards and talked to the boy.

“How are you doing David?” Joseph asked in a low voice.

“Okay I guess.” He replied. David kept checking in the windows in case anyone was watching.

“Are you being fed lately?”

The last time I had a piece of food was from lunch two days ago.” David had to think about that answer since he hadn’t had a meal in awhile.

“How about you and I get out of here? We both need something better in life.” Joseph asked.
David was taken aback by this question. He looked quickly at the window. By this time, from the looks of the plates, dinner was getting close to an end. He knew his mother wouldn’t see Joe but didn’t want to know what would happen if she found out.

“I would love to, but I can’t just leave my family.” David said nervously.

“Of course you can david! I know how that so-called family of yours treats you and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you havent lived a life like a boy like you should have. That’s why you and I deserve to be exploring. We’ll travel the world! Go on adventures! What do you say?”

David knew his mother was going to be at the door to let him back in any second. “I don’t know. But you better leave before I get in trouble.” David knew it was a harsh thing to say but he wasn’t in the mood for a beating tonight (or any night).

Joseph didn’t need to be told twice so he said bye to David and told him to think again on that offer. Thankfully, the neighbor left just before his mother started opening the door.

“Get in here.” The boy’s mother said harshly.

“Yes mother.” He obeyed the order immediately and walked to the kitchen to start his chores. As he washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, David thought about what his old friend has asked him. He coulnt mimagine what his mother would do or what life would like without his mother. However, he knew in his heart that he needed to get out of that house before his life might end.

It was three days after the talk with Joseph that David decided he wanted to get out of his house. He hadn’t eaten much besides the leftover pieces of dinner from two nights ago andhis mother decided to move his sleeping arrangements to the garage.

As usual, Dave was sitting on his little stairs waiting for Joseph to come outside. It wasn’t until late that he showed up. He stated that he wanted to leave and soon. Joseph was thrilled. Over the next couple of nights, they had quick conversations about planning the escape. The two males decided that the upcoming Tuesday would be the day that david left.

There were four hours to go until the time came for the boy to leave. That night, his mother threatened to kill him if he didn’t finish his chores on time. The family slave, as he was called, rushed through his dishes and cleaning just seconds before the time was up.

David couldn’t wait to get out. His mother seemed like she was in one of her “moods” and could strike at amny moment. Dinnertime was ust seconds away that meant the hurt boy would never have to see his family again. He was happy to get out but he thought about the old days where everything was right. However, he knew those days were over and he’d never be happy if he stayed.

Around 6 o’clock, David Pelzer was put outside for one last time. Just like planned, the boy was to crawl to the neighbors yard where Joseph would be waiting for him ready to go wherever they wanted. uHowever, before leaving to start his new life, David took one last look at his family he lost connection with so long ago and gently smiled knowing he was free.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My reaction to the story was that it was that the story was well written and i thought it was very sad in the beginning, but it was also happy in the end.
The conversation between the characters did seem real because usually old men talk how you wrote it, and david sounded very depressed, but also eager to get out.
My favorite part of the story was the end, where it said, "david gently smiled knowing he was free" because it shows how happy he was, and the emotions, and how thats all he really ever wanted.
I think the essay could have used more adjectives and descriptions, and there was also a lot of spelling mistakes and incorrect grammar. There was at least one spelling/grammar mistake in every other sentence.
For future writing assignments, i suggest that you spellcheck and fix and spelling or grammar mistakes. also, you should add more descrptive language, so the reader can picture whats happening in their mind.