Sunday, September 7, 2008

Summer Reading Essay By Allie B

It was a quiet day in Daly City, California and Dave Peltzer was walking along the streets of his childhood. On that same day, Dave’s long lost friend Rebecca was on her way home from her trip to Poland where she was searching for her deceased grandmother’s past. Dave was walking on the sidewalk, head down, watching his feet glide across the pavement, as he had always done ever since he was a little boy. Coming in the opposite direction was Rebecca, who was day dreaming, once again, about all the new information she had just learned about her grandmother, Briar Rose.

As Dave inhailed the mouthwatering aroma from the Pizza Palace, he was once again reminded of the day that he first met Rebecca ten or so years ago at the Pizza Palace. Dave glanced up to check his watch to see how much longer he had until it was time for him to return to his family two towns away. Just as he looked up, there stood the same face he had seen ten years ago that belonged to Rebecca. Rebecca was immediately snapped out of her daydream and stood dumbstruck staring at Dave. They both stood there in total silence until Dave spoke up.
“Rebecca, is that you?”
“Dave?” replied Rebecca.
“Wow! I haven’t seen you since that day we first met ten years ago! How have you been? Tell me everything that has happened since then? Does your Gemma still tell those fantastic stories about the prince and princess?!” exclaimed Dave.
“Slow down! Slow down! You are still the same excited little boy that I remember from long ago. One question at a time!” smiled Rebecca
“Oh alright, but would you like to talk over some pizza? I’m starving!” replied Dave. They both walked across the street and into the small Pizza Palace. It was still bright yellow with red trim, just as it had been ten years ago. The waitress sat them down at a booth in the corner of the restaurant, next to the gumball machine that had been there since they were little.
“I bet those gumballs will still crack your teeth, Becca,” Dave said with a big grin on his face. Rebecca remembered that day clearly, as if it were just yesterday.

The two friends sat down in the red leather booth seats with a “plop” as the air escaped from the cushions. The waitress came and took their orders. Rebecca ordered cheese pizza, still plain and simple as she had ordered ten years ago, and Dave ordered Hawaiian, his new favorite. Rebecca started their conversation with Dave’s child abuse past. They talked about almost everything that happened to him from his starvation as a child and torturous chores, to his rescue and numerous foster homes. All the memories from Dave’s dark past came flooding back and brought tears to his eyes. By the time their pizza was ready, Dave had gone through Rebecca’s entire supply of tissues she had in her purse, and more than a dozen napkins from the table’s dispenser.
Their mouths watered, as each pizza was placed in front of them. Rebecca pulled back her dark brown, shoulder length hair into a ponytail and watched Dave’s blue eyes gaze over his pizza. “To my long lost friend, Dave, who has survived more than a child ever should have to experience,” toasted Rebecca.
“Cheers!.” replied Dave. Clunk. Their plastic glasses hit together and they both took a big gulp of their sodas.
“So, Becca, what were you doing in town?” questioned Dave.
“Well, I was on my way back from Poland, and decided to take a detour and walk through Daly City,” replied Rebecca.
“You picked a beautiful day to do so. Just look at the sunset, it’s gorgeous!” said Dave. The sun was just above the treetops and its golden glow filled the sky with mesmerizing pinks and oranges.
“What were you doing in Poland?” asked Dave.
“Well, I was searching for Gemma’s past because no one knew that much about her. So, right before she passed away, I made a promise to her that I would look for her past and find the truth behind her Briar Rose stories. The clues she left me in a little box, lead me to Poland and the sights of The Holocaust camps. There I met a man who ended up to be an old friend of my Gemma’s, who witnessed all the things that happened to her. I was lucky to talk with him. His stories and what he told me were unbelievable! He told me how he and another man rescued my Gemma from a concentration camp, after she survived being gassed in a truck and thrown in a pit to die, along with thousands of other people. She was the only woman to ever escape from a concentration camp! I never would have learned so much about her past if I hadn’t met him.”
“I’m so sorry about your Gemma.” Dave interrupted. “I know how much you loved her.” “Thanks Dave, but it was her time to go, she was getting old,” Rebecca replied.
By the time they finished their conversation and their plates were licked clean, it was dark. Reluctantly, they paid the check and walked out of the restaurant arm in arm. The night was clear with only the twinkle of stars and the sliver of the moon in the sky. The streets were empty and the only noises heard were the cricket’s cricket and an owl’s hoot far off in the distance. All the houses were dark and only the street lights lit up the sidewalk. Rebecca and Dave said their good-byes with great sorrow in their voices.
“I’m really going to miss you.” said Dave.
“Me too.” said Rebeca.
“When are we going to see each other again?” questioned Dave.
“I don’t know, but I am only a phone call away. Lets not wait too long to meet again. We still have a lot more catching up to do,” smiled Rebecca. They embraced in a hug that felt like magic. For a moment time stopped. Neither friend wanting to let go. However, they both knew they had to return to their homes and families. One last hug and they parted in opposite directions. Rebecca and Dave both walked into the moonlight with a single tear running down their cheeks.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Allie B,


My personal reaction to Allie B’s story was that it was very good and it made me feel like good and like everything was going to work out with Dave and Rebecca. After reading her essay I remember a bout how Dave was abused and what tortures his mom put him through. I also remember the trip that Rebecca took in Briar Rose. It also reminds me of when I run into old friends at stores or get together with friends. When I read this I see a pizza parlor and two old friends reminiscing about good times they had had together. I also see a strong friendship that is being made. This story made me think about old friends and making sure you keep in touch with them.

Yes, I think that the conversation seemed natural. I think what made it seem so real was the way she said things and the way she spaced them out. I think that is what made it so good. I think how she described the characters physical appearance and the characters emotions toward the scenario made them feel so real and alive.

“Rebecca and Dave both walked into the moonlight with a single tear running down their cheeks.”
I like this quote because of the feeling it has behind it. The two friends departing after such a wonderful afternoon and not knowing when they will see each other again, I feel like that has a great amount of significance in this story because this truly shows how the two characters feel about each other and it shows how true the friendship is.

I think the one thing about the story that could be improved was the simple word usage. I feel like you could have used more detail and it was a bit repetitive at times. When talking about that they hadn’t seen each other in ten years, you used the word ten years many times in that paragraph. That was the only thing that I could find was not so great about this essay.

Next time I would try to use more descriptive words or make sure you re read the essay to check for repeating words. I know that I do that a lot so I always re read my work or even have someone else read it over so that you can get a second opinion on your essay. When I have someone re read it it helps me to give more options and new ideas.

I loved it! It was great!!!

Mia S